It's been two months since I graduated from the Kanakuk Institute. My eight month journey living in community and studying God's word cover to cover has to come to an end. I'm so much more in love with Jesus and with serving His people than I was a year ago. I didn't know it was possible to love such a diverse group of people so much, knowing their faults, hangups, and habits (and they knowing mine). Together we walked through the refining fire of God's truth (and oh, does that fire burn when the truth scrapes away your comfortable preconceived notions and sinful habits!). Now we're armed and equipped to take that to a desperate world who asks, "What is truth?" (John 18:38).
To say my soul was sanctified, my purpose was narrowed, and my vision was sharpened is an understatement.
But launching into the ocean of life after the island is no dreamboat.
It's hard work.
It's a litany of endlessly same days. Bills to be paid. The rigor of routine and far earlier bedtimes. Things I had the luxury of forgetting for one sweet season.
Instead of waking in the morning to study God's word for four hours with my dear friends. I roll out of bed (groaning, breakfast in hand or not at all) and head to work. Instead of eating dinner accompanied by music, laughter, and conversation, I eat alone. Instead of returning home to participate in whatever was certainly happening while I was gone, I turn on the TV or open a book.
And, most painful of all.
Community isn't handed to me. I have to chase it. And I have, seemingly down every byway and back alley of Branson.
Everything in my world is a little bit more grey without those colorful folk to brighten every moment. The cast of incredible characters who populated my life with their chatter, their wisdom, their love and their encouragement have been scattered. They aren't gone...but our next reunion will probably be in heaven.
It was always meant to be that way. These seasons are flashes of the joy of the kingdom to come, not the real thing.
I now work full time at a bank. The cut and dried numbers and sales goals are not food to my soul. They often seems to be means to an end... the end of another long day, another bill paid, and the safety of a productive and quiet life.
But my soul is already yearning for an adventure. It groans within me, reminding me that safety and quiet were never my desire. I sit at my desk and remember the days of freedom to study the Word and live in organic community with joy. I dream of the next part of the journey..the day I lay numbers aside to embrace what the Lord has for me somewhere across the world. And that day will come.
But what about embracing right now? What about embracing the opportunity to live in what is arguably the oddest community in middle America? A beautiful community of 10,000, spread out over breathtaking hill country, which happens to be home to 2.5 million visitors a year and every kitschy tourist attraction the mind could envision (and then some). A place where beneath the veneer of money and malls, storefronts and smiling visitors, lies deep pain- drug abuse, homelessness and a host of problems only God is big enough to handle. A place where the local church struggles to understand and embrace the varying needs of its community. A place where meeting a single twenty something who is unaffiliated with Kanakuk is a little like finding a unicorn. My strange little home.
It could be a matter of weeks, months or years before the Lord calls me away again. I've always been a sort of purposeful wanderer- and years of traveling the world, and moving across states into house after apartment after duplex after condo after hotel room have taught me that everything in my life is temporary. When my heart longs for settling down, for a true home, I am reminded that my home is in heaven, and Jesus has already gone there to prepare it for me.
We're all vagabonds this side of eternity.
It is my joy to spend every day seeking new and unique ways to bless others with every resource and ounce of spare energy I have. There are semi-homeless camp counselors to be fed on their nights off work. There are dozens of junior high and high school students at my church, who I love as my own siblings. There are kids who haven't understood the gospel yet. There are women in my workplace, in my fitness classes, in my coffee shop, in the grocery store I shop in each week who desperately need to hear about the love of Jesus. This is why I stayed.
It's my privilege to be obedient in this season. To be joyful and constant in prayer with my eyes on the reason I walk this road. It's not my favorite road, the landscape is a little less varied than I hoped...but it's what God has and I'm going to embrace it. Just because I might be on another mission field in the near future, doesn't mean the mission hasn't already begun here in the most unexpected place.
Friends, would you pray that God would sanctify me and bring me satisfaction in Him during this new season? Pray that He would direct me to the people, the places, and the ministries that He would have me in? Ask that He would give me wisdom and discernment as I pour into the high school and middle school students and families in our church.
As always, I massively appreciate visits, phone calls, and any updates I can get on how to be praying for you. I have an abundance of free time now. (Okay, that's a lie...but my schedule no longer revolves around seventy other people).
Everyone and their mother is always welcome at my dinner table. So if you're reading this, let's share the table or a cup of coffee in the months to come and talk about everything God has been doing.
Grace and Peace,
Jade
To say my soul was sanctified, my purpose was narrowed, and my vision was sharpened is an understatement.
But launching into the ocean of life after the island is no dreamboat.
It's hard work.
It's a litany of endlessly same days. Bills to be paid. The rigor of routine and far earlier bedtimes. Things I had the luxury of forgetting for one sweet season.
Instead of waking in the morning to study God's word for four hours with my dear friends. I roll out of bed (groaning, breakfast in hand or not at all) and head to work. Instead of eating dinner accompanied by music, laughter, and conversation, I eat alone. Instead of returning home to participate in whatever was certainly happening while I was gone, I turn on the TV or open a book.
And, most painful of all.
Community isn't handed to me. I have to chase it. And I have, seemingly down every byway and back alley of Branson.
Everything in my world is a little bit more grey without those colorful folk to brighten every moment. The cast of incredible characters who populated my life with their chatter, their wisdom, their love and their encouragement have been scattered. They aren't gone...but our next reunion will probably be in heaven.
It was always meant to be that way. These seasons are flashes of the joy of the kingdom to come, not the real thing.
I now work full time at a bank. The cut and dried numbers and sales goals are not food to my soul. They often seems to be means to an end... the end of another long day, another bill paid, and the safety of a productive and quiet life.
But my soul is already yearning for an adventure. It groans within me, reminding me that safety and quiet were never my desire. I sit at my desk and remember the days of freedom to study the Word and live in organic community with joy. I dream of the next part of the journey..the day I lay numbers aside to embrace what the Lord has for me somewhere across the world. And that day will come.
But what about embracing right now? What about embracing the opportunity to live in what is arguably the oddest community in middle America? A beautiful community of 10,000, spread out over breathtaking hill country, which happens to be home to 2.5 million visitors a year and every kitschy tourist attraction the mind could envision (and then some). A place where beneath the veneer of money and malls, storefronts and smiling visitors, lies deep pain- drug abuse, homelessness and a host of problems only God is big enough to handle. A place where the local church struggles to understand and embrace the varying needs of its community. A place where meeting a single twenty something who is unaffiliated with Kanakuk is a little like finding a unicorn. My strange little home.
It could be a matter of weeks, months or years before the Lord calls me away again. I've always been a sort of purposeful wanderer- and years of traveling the world, and moving across states into house after apartment after duplex after condo after hotel room have taught me that everything in my life is temporary. When my heart longs for settling down, for a true home, I am reminded that my home is in heaven, and Jesus has already gone there to prepare it for me.
We're all vagabonds this side of eternity.
It is my joy to spend every day seeking new and unique ways to bless others with every resource and ounce of spare energy I have. There are semi-homeless camp counselors to be fed on their nights off work. There are dozens of junior high and high school students at my church, who I love as my own siblings. There are kids who haven't understood the gospel yet. There are women in my workplace, in my fitness classes, in my coffee shop, in the grocery store I shop in each week who desperately need to hear about the love of Jesus. This is why I stayed.
It's my privilege to be obedient in this season. To be joyful and constant in prayer with my eyes on the reason I walk this road. It's not my favorite road, the landscape is a little less varied than I hoped...but it's what God has and I'm going to embrace it. Just because I might be on another mission field in the near future, doesn't mean the mission hasn't already begun here in the most unexpected place.
Friends, would you pray that God would sanctify me and bring me satisfaction in Him during this new season? Pray that He would direct me to the people, the places, and the ministries that He would have me in? Ask that He would give me wisdom and discernment as I pour into the high school and middle school students and families in our church.
As always, I massively appreciate visits, phone calls, and any updates I can get on how to be praying for you. I have an abundance of free time now. (Okay, that's a lie...but my schedule no longer revolves around seventy other people).
Everyone and their mother is always welcome at my dinner table. So if you're reading this, let's share the table or a cup of coffee in the months to come and talk about everything God has been doing.
Grace and Peace,
Jade
