On the lost Art of memorization...

 "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deut 11:18-19

When was the last time you memorized a passage of scripture that was more than several verses? An entire book or scripture? A few years ago, a mentor of mine suggested that we all begin memorizing an entire book of scripture together. None of us took it as seriously as we should have, and very few were able to memorize more than a chapter at a time. If you've ever tried to recite a book of scripture from memory, you know it's fairly difficult.

Last year when I was traveling in Asia, I met a man who explained to us several of his primary problems with Christians. He said that a truly devoted follower of Islam will memorize the Qu'ran word for word. (before he even begins to interpret or understand it) Not only do they read through every part of their scripture, they commit it to memory over a period of years. I have never known or heard of a single believer who has done that. Granted, our 66 books are a bit longer than theirs...and we are unable to recite the words of our Holy book in a song-like chant that aids memory as others do. We place an understanding of the message in Scripture far above the memorization of all of it, as is certainly appropriate. Yet I think we can learn something from the devout Muslim- God's words deserve to be memorized. In fact, they must be memorized. It's a command given to the Jews in Deuteronomy (and also to us)- that the words of God revealed in His word must be so important that they are literally bound to us. They are with us all the time, and we are to teach them to others and talk about them constantly.

 Whenever I performed as a kid, I memorized hundreds of lines, stage directions, notes, song phrases and breathing patterns. I devoted hours each week to perfecting the meticulous memorization so that my performance would be excellent. Although I am no longer a performer, the same devotion I once exercised on stage must be given to hiding the words of scripture in my heart. May God grant me the strength and willpower to overcome my own laziness and know His word in such a way that it is fixed continually in my mind and heart.

Lately I've been learning how to die

So lately, God has been doing this beautiful, yet gut wrenchingly painful thing to my life... (Don't you love that in the life of faith, beauty and intense pain often travel hand in hand?)  For several years I have prayed for one thing more often than any other. In fact, the ability to understand and act in love is one of the only things I ask God for daily. I ask for it, and yet I still feel like I've never touched it. I reach until it hurts, but I do not touch Love.Why? Because love is a death to self. Love overlooks selfish interest, ambition and comfort. I cannot. Those who are married apparently learn this as they learn to share life with another human being, whom they choose to love every day. Their love is, in part, a choice to give up their space, their time, their wants, perhaps even their dreams for the sake of this Other. To consider the good of the Other before their own good. That seems like a decent example, but what of the unmarried? What does my death to self look like? Maybe part of it looks like getting out of my own way and laying down the heavy burden of my pride to hear what the Lord has to say. Capital idea.

Another thing I have prayed until it literally hurts, is that God might direct me to the specific people I should invest in, just as Christ did. Our Lord's example was to love all, yet to invest in only a few. I read recently that the human brain is capable only of maintaining about 250 relationships.  I have more than that many contacts in my cell phone. (Sorry all you 1,500 'friends' on Facebook folks. It's just not possible). Yet, whether or not that pseudo-scientific source was reliable, the concept resonated for me. What didn't make sense (at first) was His answer to my prayer. 

Over a period of several months, God chose to remove several key people from my life- men and women I love very much. They did not leave my life physically, as often happens in the transient gypsy life of the college student, I still see several of them on a weekly basis. They literally chose to stop pursuing me in any way. I'm talking of people I wanted to make sure were there on my wedding day. My anger at their apparent desertion really tore me apart. For months, I asked the Lord why this would happen. Then it hit me. The Lord does not often speak so simply to me. This was quite clear. He removed those people because I asked Him to. I asked Him to show me who the right people were and He has. I cannot invest deeply in every one of my friends, though I've tried (and failed miserably).  Yet the people who have chosen to consistently respond to me are the ones He wants me to pursue. I pursue a fairly small group of people- some the women I've been friends with since day one of freshman year, my weird little group of older and younger "brothers," the men and women of my church, and my junior highers and fellow K-Life leaders. Those are the (primary) people to pursue (and actually the people I spend most of my time with anyway). This has transformed the way I see those who decided to peace out of my life. Again, the Lord faithfully reminded me that it is not in His nature to act on a random whim when it comes to my life. (It's almost as if He has a plan...)


Last week I lost my wallet. I won't bother with the details, but in short a lot of money and my license and cards were all (probably) stolen. I couldn't believe I'd been such a colossal idiot. I mean, who does that? Yet in my confusion and anger, He had another thought for me.That money wasn't mine. Nothing I own is mine. He gave it to me and chose to take it away. He could have restored those things to me. Maybe....insert expression of shock and awe....nothing I have is my own. Not my talent. Not my body. Not my money. Nor any of my resources. And certainly not my relationships. All things are His. Everything I posses and every ounce of what I am was created by Him and for His purposes.  Does God ever teach you something you already 'knew'? (I feel like that little kid in school who just never 'gets it,' no matter how many ways it is explained to him. Obviously there is a difference between mental knowledge and the knowledge that transforms a life. Maybe I'll make the transition this time.)

I love Him for that. I am so irresponsible. Thank God we are not the managers of our own lives, nor the fate of the world! Surely we'd damn ourselves in minutes.

Now I come to the 'so what' part of musing. The goal: to hold the trappings of my life in open hands. Ready to say- "Okay, Lord. You want this relationship? Have it. Take it away at Your will. You want my money? Right away, Lord. My body? Break it." God's so backwards to my simplistic human logic. I love Him for that.

"And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." Luke 9:23-24